We sometimes tend to gravitate towards the "bad boys" or hypermasculine types; loudmouth, aggressive, and self-centered. “These men ooze testosterone, which leads to boldness and is associated with exaggerated sexuality", explains Michael R. Cunningham, Ph.D., professor and psychologist at the University of Louisville.
Even though the red flags are evident, we still pursue the "bad boys". I read somewhere that this is because of our instincts since our days as cavewomen, when we apparently chose our mate by those that appeared as the most desirable for mating, hunting, and gathering food. I mean, a girl has to eat, right?
Because of this misconception, nice/ shy guys tend to finish last. By falling for the "bad guy" macho type, we tend to look past the "shy guys", and boy, are we missing out on the good stuff. "Shy guys" are incredible!!!! How do I know this? Well, because I have dated both types, and "shy guys" are for the win!
Here is why I believe the "shy guy" is the better choice:
1. First and foremost, he is NOT shy! He's just not insecure. He knows who he is and doesn't see the need to validate himself to anyone. He is an intelligent individual who will surround himself with like-minded people.
2. He's way better in bed. I will die on this hill but trust me, there is a huge difference between a guy that brags about his sexual prowess, but really is just all talk and only cares about his pleasure, and one who's skilled and open to your needs. I mean, you think you're in for some vanilla sex with a shy guy, but there you are, bent over and reaching for your ankles while he pounds the hell outta you, while you're thinking "well, this is nice". LMAO 😃
3. He LISTENS, more than you realize. He pays attention to what you say, how you say it, and when you say it. He will remember all of this at any relevant time, so if you're gonna lie, you will need to plan and strategize your lie, you might as well just be honest with him. We did ask for men to listen more, so there ya go!
4. Wanna know stuff about him? Then you will have to ask him, yes, because he's not one to brag about his accomplishments, he doesn't yap on for no reason (thank god!). He saves his words for the good stuff. Loud guys are irritating 🙄
5. He has many layers. Just when you think you know everything about him, boom! he drops something you had no clue of. He will casually mention something such as "I met the Queen last summer", while you gawk in disbelief. It's something to look forward to and oh so refreshing!
6. He's polite! He will never interrupt you but if he does, he will apologize. You will get to express your thoughts and give your opinions, he will listen and ask questions after. Ahhhh the joy of being able to talk without being cut off.
7. He will never ghost you like a coward. He will be straight with you regarding every aspect of your relationship, including why he can no longer see you.
8. He will surprise you and ask things you thought he had forgotten about. That's because he listens! He knows your goals, plans, etc. and he will ask you about those, and even give suggestions to help you accomplish them.
9. His anger is equally matched with his niceness and boy will he show it. You will know what you did to cause this and be able to deal with it. You will face the brunt of his anger, then get to make up with him 😉
10. Because his time seems so precious, when he shows interest in you, you will absolutely fall for him. You will feel special and wanna spend time getting to know him.
Disclaimer: This article is based on my experiences. It is not meant to promote stereotyping, pass judgment, or cause doubt on anyone's character. It is for entertainment purposes only and should not be used in any other way.